Crazy translations

So I'm reading the web translation for the Japanese WarioWare site and I'm laughing my ass off at 9-Volt's diary because of the translation. XD The bolded part is the translation while the rest is my comments.


I'll write a diary today. Damn those would I expect from most of the game story!
Wtf?

Gathered today at the house of my chin and I was Pazukore convention!
Wait, your chin has a house? Maybe Jay Leno's does...

Today is the birthday of my mom's chin.
The hell is up with you and chins?! O_o

Dad's chin I'm a fireman.
...*facepalms*

I was a pet without permission, I wonder what this guy I really?
ROFL! XD

I played with my dick in the house I called out from Obyuron epiphany today alone.
...no comment.

What the hell I'm in kindergarten jump rope What?
ROFL! XD

http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?hl=en&sl=ja&tl=en&u=http://www.nintendo.co.jp/n08/azwj/9volt/diary.html&rurl=translate.google.com&twu=1&usg=ALkJrhjOGJL6W6sXd_21J65oUTZBLrYK8w